Dick Rasch claims that online network marketing is a scam. Says Rasch, of Cut Shin, Kentucky, “They told me anybody could make great money, but that just aint true.” According to Mr. Rasch, he has paid money for a network marketing auto-ship and an online marketing system, and to date he hasn’t made a single penny.

“Yup, it’s a bonafide scam all right. They told me all I needed was a computer and a good opportunity, and I’d make money. But it just aint so.” Claims Rasch. “I got me a computer, and one of them fancy dial up connections, and I got one of those super slick sales pages, but so far not ONE PERSON has signed up.” Dick is understandably annoyed. “I log into my back office every day to see what’s happening. They say there’s a brazillion people online, however many that is, but if that’s true, why haven’t any of them come to my site? There’s definitely something fishy going on.”

Dick’s wife, Fanny Rasch, agrees. “I told that moron not to use the card online, but he bought that stupid additive crap anyway.” Says Fanny, a clerk at the Cut Shin Dollar Store. “I swear that’s what killed our weed-whacker.” Adds Fanny. “My daddy always told me to just go to school, get a good job, and work hard and I’d be all right. But apparently they don’t give out such good advice over at the Heavenly.” She says, referring to Heavenly Acres, the trailer park where Dick was raised.

Asked what he’s going to do now, Dick has a ready answer. “I aint givin up so easy. I found another page where a guy made a ton of money when his cat jumped on his keyboard.” Says Dick. “Hell, we’ve got six cats, so I’ve got ‘em all locked up in the spare room where the computer is, with enough food and water to last a week. If that other guy can make money with one cat, I’m gonna make a killing with six!”

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